PTSD and red flags

Nina – let’s just be friends

Sex, then a nice talk afterwards and now “let’s just be friends”?

Here is what happened…

Me: Good morning 9:26 AM 

Me: rise and shine 9:53 AM 

Nina: Goodmorning dear 10:08 AM 

Me: There you are, how are you? 10:13 AM 

Nina: I’m driving 10:13 AM 

Me: where are you heading? 10:15 AM 

Nina: Home now 10:25 AM 

Me: What did you do / buy? 10:31 AM 

Nina: Lol what makes you think I bought something? 10:34 AM 

Me: That’s why I asked what did you DO (or BUY), of course I wasn’t sure, just curious. 10:36 AM 

Nina: I had to pick up that damn 13 year old who thought it would be cute to bleed through her clothes instead of wearing a pad because her pants were too tight… so 10:43 AM 

Nina: I’ll be slaving her today. 10:43 AM 

Nina: I would say let’s do lunch… but my hair ain’t done ???? 10:54 AM 

Me: maybe a little later? I have some errands to run and but groceries 10:59 AM 

Nina: Well I can’t because my hair ain’t done… 11:11 AM 

Me: how long does it take and why are you not texting me? or does it take that long? 2:52 PM 

Nina: How long does what take? I wasn’t doing anything 2:55 PM 

Me: Last I heard you said your hair isn’t done and since you were all quiet I was assuming that’s what you’re busy with 2:59 PM 

Me: you didn’t send me one single text which is kind of unusual 2:59 PM 

Nina: Ahhh assuming… 2:59 PM 

Nina: I said you were running around 3:00 PM 

Nina: *you 3:01 PM 

Me: yeah but not that long, I was still hoping you’d tell me you’re done with your hair and join me 🙂 3:02 PM 

Me: I miss you 3:02 PM 

Nina: Join what you shopping? Ewww I hate shopping 3:02 PM 

Me: grab a bite or ice cream or something 3:05 PM 

Nina: Ahhh the way your answered back when I said that sounded like you didn’t want to bother with it so I went out to eat with a friend 3:05 PM 

Me: Oh, ok. And no “I miss you too”, what a bummer 3:06 PM 

Nina: I pretty much chucked our relationship to only after midnight… ?. 3:06 PM 

Me: is that what you want? Because I don’t 3:07 PM 

Nina: I’m thinking fuck buddies with an upgrade of being someone I “try new things with”…. that is pretty much the gist of what is going on here… it’s kinda like a see you when I see you.. And don’t take that the wrong way… But I seriously could of stayed with my old fuck buddy… for this 3:11 PM 

Nina: At least he knows my kids and I can see him before midnight, go out to eat, hang out with “in public” etc… when I start saying things like this that means 3:12 PM 

Nina: you’re chances of trying are pretty much gone. Lol. 3:12 PM 

Nina: Because now anything after this would be like “guilt” 3:12 PM 

Me: Where is all this coming from all of a sudden? Are you serious? 3:14 PM 

Me: I said I’m really excited about meeting your kids and you come with this? 3:14 PM 

Nina: If you want you can still meet the kids 3:29 PM 

Me: Look, I thought we agreed on building a relationship. If something on your end has changed then that’s life, I get it. I am nobody’s fuck buddy (well, technically I maybe was for one night but that was not my intention) 3:31 PM 

Nina: Lol, maybe it was wrong choice of wording on my part. Maybe friends is a better word. Sorry if fuck buddy offended you. 3:48 PM 

Me: But I told you that for me it was not about sex but about us, a relationship. This seemed to be still on the table yesterday. Quotes: But I’m trying to love this home and make it our own… I wanna put a big popcorn machine out there and a bed with a projector on the balcony for me and you and movie night ???. 3:51 PM 

Me: But I don’t want to argue with you Nina, you know what you want and what you don’t want. If the status quo is what you said earlier then that’s how it is. 3:52 PM 

Nina: I don’t want to argue either… we will talk later then I guess… my kids are acting up horrible and I’m cooking. 3:54 PM 

Me: ok 3:55 PM 

Nina: Rain is coming… and I miss you more ❤️ 4:26 PM 

Me: when you start saying things like that my chances are gone – and now you miss me? 4:33 PM 

Nina: I didn’t say your chances are gone with me I said your chances are gone with wanting to go out and eat and hang out and go places because I don’t want you to 4:34 PM 

Nina: feel like you have to do it now 4:34 PM 

Me: do what 4:35 PM 

Nina: Because we don’t do anything together… I asked you to lunch and you brushed it off… and now that I’m complaining about it I don’t ever want to try and go 4:41 PM 

Nina: out to lunch again because I don’t want you to feel like “you have to do it”… I hate that 4:41 PM 

Me: that’s complete nonsense, I never felt that I have to do anything with you. If I don’t want to do it I don’t do it. And then the I could have stayed with Stephen crap, who says stuff like that? If you want him then go get him. If you want me then act right, cut the crap and stop making assumptions (assuming that I’d go to lunch because I have to, bullshit) 4:44 PM 

Nina: No, you never felt that way. But now that I’m bringing it up I don’t want you to feel that way. 4:45 PM 

Nina: And if your gonna have an attitude and curse and not act like a “big boy” I will put the phone down… your tone is not being very manly 4:45 PM 

Nina: like? 4:45 PM 

Me: again, if you want to be with me act right, ask if you have doubts or questions 4:46 PM 

Nina: Me act right? Lol…. that’s cute 4:46 PM 

Me: ok, let me ask you Nina, what do you want from me? or for us? 4:47 PM 

Nina: etc… and my reality hit today… it’s not true.. we do nothing.. but sit in my room and talk and honestly I can do that with a million and one guys… 4:49 PM 

Nina: I don’t know anymore… I told you from the beginning it felt like a fairytale… you the perfect guy for Nina, we are going to do things, see things 4:49 PM 

Nina: So for me… I’m back to the drawing board. It’s that simple for me… it’s that “adjustment disorder” 4:49 PM 

Me: I told you we can do other things especially with the kids especially if I would get rid of my job but if you’re so full of doubts (again) then I’m not sure what I can do. it’s not a fairy tale Nina. Stop worrying so much 4:51 PM 

Me: and don’t blame it on that adjustment disorder, do you want to be in a relationship with me? 5:04 PM 

Nina: I don’t know anymore 5:14 PM 

Me: that’s sad but honest I guess, ok 5:19 PM 

Nina: Are you mad? 6:29 PM 

Me: no 6:30 PM 

Nina: Ok. That’s good to hear 6:30 PM 

Me: not sure why, I told you, I wouldn’t stalk you or do anything bad even if I woukd be upset. 6:31 PM 

Nina: Because I never want to upset people. That’s why. I wouldn’t think you’d stalk me or anything… lol 6:32 PM 

Me: you should know that so no worries 6:32 PM 

Nina: Tracking.. 6:32 PM 

Me: who is tracking what 6:34 PM 

Nina: I’m tracking what you’re saying. Like ok. I get it. 6:34 PM 

Me: ok 6:35 PM 

Me: I sent you a text earlier but it seems it was not sent so here it is again 7:22 PM 

Me: at 4.45 you said Because we don’t do anything together… I asked you to lunch and you brushed it off… and now that I’m complaining about it I don’t ever want to try and go 7:22 PM 

Me: how in the world did I brush you off? I don’t know what’s going on with you but I did not brush you off at all, please look at the Screenshot, that’s all I got regarding the dinner 7:23 PM 

Me: technically you didn’t even ask me for lunch. 7:24 PM 

Nina: Are we still on this topic babe? Seriously. It’s all good. I did say I would ask you to lunch… you said maybe later.. that is like a suttle “yeah, okay. Not 7:57 PM 

Nina: happening”. Because you didn’t say later when… etc did you? No, your brushed it off later could mean indefinite. You only have but so much laters in your days before work. 7:57 PM 

Nina: But seriously I’m over it. Done with it. I brought it to the light, spoke out about it and that’s that. That’s how arguments work for me. You said your 7:58 PM 

Nina: peace. I said mine. Let’s drop it 7:58 PM 

Me: now you’re brushing me off, I said later and left it open not knowing how long “doing hair” can take. your answer to “later” was “no I can’t”. I think you are very unfair here. 8:00 PM 

Nina: So what do you want to do about my unfairness? 8:06 PM 

Me: I was just wondering if you’re aware of that but I guess if you don’t want a relationship with me it really doesn’t matter. I thought you might realize that you made a mistake 8:08 PM 

Nina: I didn’t make a mistake. I never said I didn’t. I said i dont know 8:09 PM 

Me: you could apologize and promise me great makeup sex 8:09 PM 

Nina: I could…. 8:10 PM 

Nina: But then what do I get from it? 8:10 PM 

Me: never mind Nina, never mind 8:11 PM 

Nina: Stop being a cry baby. 8:11 PM 

Nina: You’re such a baby 8:11 PM 

Nina: You could apologize and give me a body massage… You are set in their ways and it won’t win with me. lol. I will break you, dear ?. I am about to go lay down. If I don’t hear from you anymore tonight or vice versa. I’m sleep. 8:18 PM 

Me: break me? Why would you even say such a thing? Good night. 8:19 PM 

Nina: It’s not a bad thing… it means change your ways.. 8:19 PM 

Nina: You’re right. Let’s just be friends. If I’m finding the answer to your question and I dont know… then it’s probably because it’s a “no” 8:51 PM 

Nina: and I’m trying to convince myself to make it a yes, which would only cause chaos down the line. I didn’t mean to throw Stephen at you but 8:51 PM 

Nina: seriously I left one to go into the same thing. All I do with y’all is invite you over, talk and have sex.. there are no dinner dates, walks in the parks etc. maybe it’s “the men I pick”… so I’m short 8:51 PM 

Nina: I seriously deserve so much better. Any lady would/ and should. Nothing happens overnight. I don’t expect it to… 8:51 PM 

Nina: My forever is out there somewhere and I refuse to just settle. As long as I have everything I need I have nothing but time. Honestly there isn’t a man out there that can do for me that I can’t do for myself 8:51 PM 

Nina: Where does all this come from? I guess from not getting enough… something 8:51 PM 

Nina: this is what it is about. Sex. So I’m good… seriously I don’t need it. Your probably gonna flip out and say I’m paranoid, 8:51 PM 

Nina: Have a great night!! Talk to later 8:51 PM 

Nina: I’m voicing my thoughts now… Because somewhere since January between all our conversations… your missing (missed) the point of what I’m broken up (?) 8:51 PM 

Here is red flag Nina again, changing in a heartbeat.

Little did I know about her being bipolar, suffering from some serious PTSD and other stuff.

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