Total chaos and bipolar behavior

Nina – it felt good laugh with you and then seduce you

Here we go with the late afternoon evening.

The conversation went all the way South – where could it possibly go from here?

Me: Idk what’s going on with here, here we go again with the bipolar behavior. 4:52 PM 

Me: I would never stick around because of feeling sorry, not as a boyfriend, sex buddy or just a normal friend. 4:53 PM 

Me: here is the problem, you only talk about you, your life, your problems and I get it, it’s a lot. You don’t care about me, my life, my problems 4:54 PM 

Me: the part about your stalker was true though, I despise them and I told you why 4:55 PM 

Nina: I’m not gonna entertain these these games. Look, when you are here we always talk about you. I ask how you are doing, even how your family is doing (mom) and when you’re going home… etc. don’t sit here and be like that. 4:56 PM 

Me: yes, you asked about my mom and I appreciated that 4:56 PM 

Me: and whenever there was a chance to meet your kids you became evasive 4:57 PM 

Me: I just don’t see that you’re in any way serious 4:57 PM 

Me: At the same time you rub it under my nose that your stalker is nice with the kids and bla bla, you don’t want to confuse them 4:58 PM 

Nina: I am a reflection of your past girlfriends and how you talk about them… your ex wife- mental issues, feeling sorry for her etc… made me realize that’s why you were probably around… I WAS DEAD ASS SERIOUS. But I reflect a lot on everything you and I talk about.. And good thing you didn’t meet my kids 4:59 PM 

Me: Yeah, sure 5:00 PM 

Nina: If I only “talk about me” it’s because you’re so shut off and distant and so withholding about your personal life that what else is there to talk about beside sex, Nina, Nina’s issues, Nina’s kids etc… What’s bullshit huh? 5:01 PM 

Me: and maybe you reflect too much and over analyze 5:01 PM 

Me: and if you’re dead serious then go the fuck ahead and show it. 5:03 PM 

Nina: That’s my reality… reflecting… I said I don’t know where all this is stemming from… but you didn’t say anything… so I said my peace. If that’s how you feel that’s fine I accept it but I’m not about to bring a baby into this world with a man who “feels sorry for me” smh… 5:03 PM 

Me: I said I didn’t mean that and you should know better than that 5:04 PM 

Nina: I just don’t know anymore… 5:04 PM 

Me: well you should wake up and look at me and who I am and have a little more faith. You once said I’m a hitman, there to hurt you (hired by your former mother in law). Seriously? All that stuff, jokes, maybe, but also fear. 5:05 PM 

Nina: I am about to step outside and smoke a cigarette, I’m not wearing a bra and no panties… 5:07 PM 

Me: again, if you’re dead serious stop being afraid and show it 5:07 PM 

Me: Good for you Nina 5:07 PM 

Nina: I had to install security cameras by my fence this morning because my gate keeps opening 5:08 PM 

Nina: I always see the good in everyone until they try and play games. Then their words become face value hidden behind lies and or smiles. Happens every single day. 5:08 PM 

Me: yes but by now you should know me a little bit and also trust me a little bit 5:15 PM 

Nina: I have a lot of chaos etc… and while I do have a lot of chaos and bullshit in my life that circles me- that is not who I am… somehow you’re angry and your trying to hide it behind games, and story telling 5:15 PM 

Me: Games? ME? Lol 5:17 PM 

Nina: Ikr 5:17 PM 

Me: I just want you to be serious 5:17 PM 

Me: I don’t always agree with your actions but that’s just life. I can voice my opinion, try to give advice but in the end it’s your decision (like how to handle your ex, your ex mother in law, your children) 5:19 PM 

Me: and I’m definitely not upset or disappointed if I’d give you an advice and you decide to do it differently 5:19 PM 

Nina: Seeing the true YOU come alive the other night was amazing. It felt good to sit back and laugh with you and then seduce you – but to see this today… I’m not really sure how to feel… it’s crazy. 5:20 PM 

Me: well if this makes you question me then there’s nothing really there. 5:21 PM 

Nina: Look at how you came at me… that BS you wrote was Insane. Game or no game it’s questionable 5:21 PM 

Me: Not playing any games, that’s YOU 5:23 PM 

Nina: Because saying you feel sorry for me is a stab in the heart… rather truthful or playing… I would question that every single day for life with you… 5:23 PM 

Nina: wondering because how you can say that jokingly… knowing you told me that you stayed with your wife because you felt sorry for her and thought you could change her… 5:23 PM 

Me: like I said, you should know me better and have more faith. in me. 5:24 PM 

Nina: I am breaking down boxes in the garage I will text you back in a few 5:40 PM 

Me: ok 5:45 PM 

Me: still not done? 7:09 PM 

Me: really? 7:33 PM 

Nina: I’m at the old house getting yard cut 7:36 PM 

Me: I see 7:39 PM 

Me: let me know when you’re done 7:43 PM 

Nina: I am done. On my way! Home 8:08 PM 

Me: ok. So what do you want to do? will you stop playing with your past and look forward? Can you be all serious? 8:11 PM 

Nina: I can look forward. However, I am not feeling how you came at me earlier… it doesn’t sit right with me… at all. 8:59 PM 

Nina: Probably feeding into too much… maybe but my feelings are my feelings. 9:00 PM 

Me: ok, so what does that mean now? I’m sorry, maybe it was a little extreme but if you want this to work you have to see me, I’m not a cheerleader or sex buddy 9:13 PM 

Nina: I’m not sure what that means. I’m just really hurt by that message today. Because I don’t want people to feel sorry for me because in actuality despite all my downfalls I’ve come a hell of a long way. I own a home, 3 cars, 6 children 2 masters degrees etc… I mean to feel sorry for me is to say I am not good enough. 10:10 PM 

Me: Is that a sales pitch? 10:54 PM 

Me: Don’t forget that you were the one who brought up your stalker again and again and then all of sudden talking to your stalker is more important 10:55 PM 

Nina: What makes you think I talked to him. I was out with a migraine. You seriously hurt my feelings. Out of all thing we have said good or bad… that was a low blow and it’s questionable… I do want to be with you… but the dynamics of things are different now..I have to sit and consider why it was even brought up… where was the laughter in that text? 10:58 PM 

Nina: When talking to my 20 year old son… and discussing this because maybe I was over thinking it…. he said that wasn’t cool either… like who says that… so either he is like his mom or it was really insensitive for you to say… considering I treated you like my personal diary… 11:01 PM 

Me: I am really surprised that he’s agreeing with you 11:03 PM 

Nina: I have said some crazy off the wall shit to you- because I am a bitch- that’s how I came off because that’s who I am. However, that is not your character. You don’t have that in you but 5 months later and a few sex nights I still haven’t a clue where you live or who you really are 11:15 PM 

Nina: Regarding my stalker, I didn’t make no one important I said I will sit down and talk with him… but I didn’t have time to because it went to hell with a migraine. 11:15 PM 

Nina: Babe, I am going to bed. I will talk to you in the morning or afternoon… I have to sleep to take kids to school. ? paranoia is definitely strong right now…. Goodnight babes 11:17 PM 

Me: are you just leaving me like that? 11:18 PM 

Me: I have one question, what car does he drive? I have a rear dash cam in my car and I was wondering if it caught something the night I was there. 11:19 PM 

Nina: No, I’m not leaving you like anything babe I am tired. I played catch up all night… 11:19 PM 

Nina: He was on his motorcycle n i dont know what kind of motorcycle he has…I can ask him 11:20 PM 

Me: So that means again you don’t want to see me. I guess I need that code after all ? 11:28 PM 

Nina: See you when tonight? Yeah… no I’m too ?. Like I’m sleeping on the couch because I’m too tired to shower n get in bed…. I’m mentally and physically drained… 11:30 PM 

Me: this is my dining room set, on the left that is the secretary that I mentioned 11:30 PM 

Nina: Very beautiful taste babe n the secretary hutch is to die for 11:31 PM 

Me: the picture above the secretary I shot actually with my cell phone camera and I made it look old and got it on canvas 11:32 PM 

Nina: Pretty 11:36 PM 

Me: So you wouldn’t let me cuddle with you on the couch when you didn’t have a shower? 11:38 PM 

Nina: No. I’m too sleepy. And don’t feel like talking. I have a lot to do. I’m trying right now to finish up my sons birthday order for his five nights at Freddy’s birthday… etc 11:47 PM 

Nina: Did you send something home to your mom for Mother’s Day 11:49 PM 

Me: don’t feel like talking… great. Ok then 11:49 PM 

Nina: Be safe going home. Goodnight babe. Dream of me ? 12:02 AM 

Me: I’m omw home. I still would like to talk. Or do you need help with anything? 12:04 AM 

Me: Good night then 12:15 AM 

What an exhausting conversation.

Somebody asked me – “Why are you doing this? Is the sex that good?”

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