Hatred and racism

Nina – Guns, hatred and racism

Days were passing by, I guess it doesn’t make sense to talk to somebody who claims to hate you.

Whenever I thought it’s time to finally move on something like THAT happened…

Nina: Good morning 9:31 AM 

Me: Oh, who is this, lol, long time no hear / see. 9:32 AM 

Nina: I know you missed me so I wanted to check on you 9:38 AM 

Me: How thoughtful, do you still hate me? 9:40 AM 

Nina: Yes I still hate you. 9:47 AM 

Me: Well thanks for checking on me. ? 9:50 AM 

Nina: I know you can’t stop thinking about me 9:54 AM 

Me: Yeah, sure. I’m thinking about moving to San Antonio 9:56 AM 

Nina: It’s not any better 9:57 AM 

Nina: Everything always looks good on the outside 9:57 AM 

Me: Yeah, I learned that the hard way 9:57 AM 

Me: Trump has now penalty taxes on steel, he wants to also put 25% import taxes on German cars, this man is crazy 9:58 AM 

Me: I might just leave the US for good, remember I said that before in the so called fairy tale 9:59 AM 

Nina: Right 9:59 AM 

Me: it’s just not safe here and all the guns and hatred, racism. That Starbucks had to train employees regarding “black customers” is a joke to me 9:59 AM 

Me: but Americans will never get that right, it’s in their blood like the whole gun thing 10:00 AM 

Nina: It’s everywhere… 10:00 AM 

Me: but here it’s very extreme and you know that 10:01 AM 

Nina: Whatever you choose hopefully it works out for you. 10:01 AM 

Me: yeah 10:01 AM 

Nina: I just keep to myself and save those who need saving (mental health wise) 10:01 AM 

Nina: Racism, bigots, riots, terrorism is everywhere…. along with crime, drugs, homelessness, etc… But running from this does What for who? 10:02 AM 

Me: don’t give up on the world. There are still many good people out there 10:03 AM 

Me: but nowadays kids bully each other in school and on social media, they said parents should watch on Netflix 13 reasons why, it’s crazy if that’s what’s going on 10:04 AM 

Nina: I’m not giving up on the world 10:04 AM 

Me: ok 10:05 AM 

Nina: I’m part of the mental health profession… I do tons of community services etc 10:05 AM 

Me: we have a proverb saying “Hope dies last” 10:05 AM 

Nina: I see your type every day… men getting addicted to a woman they can’t forget lol. 10:05 AM 

(Excuse me, YOU contacted ME again, wtf are you talking about – just a thought crossing my mind while working on this blog post)

Nina: Nice quote 10:06 AM 

Me: My type, lol, are you detached from reality somehow? 10:06 AM 

Me: the whole 5 months you threw a lot at me and you know that (you admitted it several times) but not for one single second I hated you 10:10 AM 

Nina: you’re missing the bigger picture and that is that you lied. 10:10 AM 

Nina: I was considering a life with you a baby with you a lifestyle with you I don’t want our time to be cut short because you lied to me 10:11 AM 

Me: We are not robots Nina 10:11 AM 

Me: I really liked your profile when I read it and I liked you 10:11 AM 

Nina: Absolutely, but I have never lied to you be it good bad or indifferent 10:12 AM 

Nina: I may have stretched the truth about somethings… like a whole weekend of fucking… because that wasn’t entirely true… but never lied 10:12 AM 

Me: you liked our conversations (at some point) 10:13 AM 

Nina: I still do like our conversations. 10:13 AM 

Nina: And I like the fact that I can control you sexually in any way I want to ?? 10:15 AM 

Me: Lol, in your dreams, where is that coming from? 10:15 AM 

Nina: It’s just facts babes. But I admit, you’re fucking smart. There is a demeanor with you and the way you talk. 10:21 AM 

Nina: You have this idea (all in your head) that life is some-type of movie.. some virtual reality type deal. You would actually make a great salesman because of your demeanor… you could sell water to an ocean.. 10:24 AM 

Nina: This is real life and your trying to live your life based off scenes from a movie, an idea in your head. I know because you speak of this shit every time we talk. 10:24 AM 

Me: Like I said, I was serious about everything 10:25 AM 

Nina: We probably could have been great together because when we are together it’s fun, relaxing and calming.. 10:25 AM 

Nina: Then you say things like my profile was sad and hopeless… but why? How? You know I’ve been doing this shit by myself before and after the suicide of my ex and definitely during my time with him. My own kids don’t miss their father because they don’t have seen much of him. There is nothing in my life to feel sorry for… 10:27 AM 

Me: Little things like I don’t kiss, I will never get married again, you lose interest in people fast… all that and more sounded sad to me. 10:28 AM 

Nina: How many are like me? I’ve think I’ve come far them most in my lifetime with a handout or a piggy back ride… so you should be honored to have met someone as driven as I am… focused as I am because I have friends in their 40/50 who are still trying to get where I am with and without kids 10:28 AM 

Nina: Yes, I don’t have a man. Yes, we both know that I could get a man… but this man has to be driven, mind driven and focused if not as much as me but more… no less. So I’m not hopeless… I just want what I want and am not in a rush to get there 10:29 AM 

Nina: I will break a man down where he stands because I am feminist as fuck… I’m sure it shows when I say things like there isn’t a man who can do for me that I can’t do for myself 10:30 AM 

Nina: It takes a strong fucking man to be with me… I thought it was you- 10:30 AM 

Me: Ok, why are we talking right now, you can either forgive me or hold the grudge and send me off the street of no return. 10:33 AM 

Nina: I did forgive you… I been forgiven you… but I’m still entitled to my feelings… 10:34 AM 

Me: honestly I would have preferred that you’d lie to me about something instead of fucking your ex 10:34 AM 

Nina: I’m not gonna pretend like this didn’t happen. 10:34 AM 

Nina: But I didn’t lie to you about fucking my ex. I did but it wasn’t a whole weekend of fucking ? 10:34 AM 

Nina: I tell you when he is around, not around etc… because What would I have to lose by being honest? 10:35 AM 

Me: See, you don’t get it, it’s the fact that you did it. 1 second or a weekend really makes no difference 10:35 AM 

Nina: But you were okay with it 10:36 AM 

Nina: So why mention it now? 10:36 AM 

Me: for you me lying is a biggie while me fucking an ex probably wouldn’t have mattered so much for me it’s the exact opposite 10:36 AM 

Nina: Well I apologize ok? If you were to fuck your ex while we were talking and or going down a rough patch I wouldn’t be bothered. 10:37 AM 

Nina: If I would have lied to you or kept it from you that I had sex with my ex it would eat me up inside because I truly had feelings for you… 10:38 AM 

Nina: So I would tell you… and take the loss of whatever was to come- but in this case you and I weren’t even talking over that course of time and I still told you. 10:39 AM 

Nina: And I didn’t want no bullshit from him or my past to haunt whatever we were to established… 10:40 AM 

Me: ok. Like I said, we can more forward, sidewards, backwards or you send me away but whatever problems people have you can talk about them but no longer than 30 minutes because you get to the point where you will just keep repeating yourself and it’s not doing any good 10:41 AM 

Nina: Exactly 10:41 AM 

Nina: Understandable 10:41 AM 

Nina: We should drop it 10:41 AM 

Nina: I forgive but I won’t forget ?. Karma is a bitch.. and sadly she got shit because it could have been someone’s fucking child. 10:42 AM 

Nina: Don’t fuck with Nina and karma won’t get you babes ??? 10:42 AM 

Nina: I should probably get flowers, chocolates and balloons… because your sugar daddy age… ???? 10:44 AM 

Me: You know that hating somebody is like drinking poison and expect the other person to die 10:45 AM 

Nina: My depression is gonna be full fledged in a couple of hours… it’s a half day today and the kids are school free until August… ???. 10:45 AM 

Nina: Lol, I’m so gonna go crazy. ??? 10:45 AM 

Me: Misery loves company and haters will die alone and I don’t want that 10:46 AM 

Nina: Good one, so are we gonna talk about my depression? (Which I’m joking- a little) 10:51 AM 

Nina: Schools out? House full of kids… school starts for me in less then 10:55 AM 

Nina: two weeks… ? my bills are gonna sky rocket…. I have to cook three times a day now… 10:58 AM 

Nina: I’m gonna seek a food shelter to feed them this summer ? 10:59 AM 

Nina: We should probably get together with notebooks and paper and discuss all the things we can’t speak of…. 11:05 AM 

Nina: Luckily for you I have never use the counseling approach to get my point across but there has been times I had to meet you right where you were standing 11:10 AM 

Nina: that’s often not a good thing because you’re taking me out of character 11:12 AM 

Nina: I don’t know how why or when things are going to go down but I did tell you that I have appointment scheduled for the tubal… 11:19 AM 

Nina: I’m going to marry my stalker. 11:19 AM 

Nina: It’s more of a proposition 11:36 AM 

Me: Huh? 11:36 AM 

Me: You said “I will never get married again” ( to me, 100 times) so you lied 11:37 AM 

Nina: I won’t ever get married again… for love. That doesn’t matter. Love doesn’t need a piece of paper. However security does. 11:38 AM 

Nina: He has something I want… and I have something he wants 11:39 AM 

Nina: Doesn’t mean anything… nevermind 11:39 AM 

Me: well finally something to look forward to 11:39 AM 

Me: I still have the feeling that this won’t end well (intuition) but time will tell 11:40 AM 

Nina: What do you mean finally something to look forward too? 11:40 AM 

Nina: children… we aren’t gonna live together or be together… he just wants to ensure security for his kids if he gives me a kid ?AM 

Me: Omg, I am not gonna tell you what I just read 11:42 AM 

Me: You won’t believe it 11:42 AM 

Nina: I’m confused 11:43 AM 

Me: A man said it at court (custody hearing) that he will kill his ex and 7 hours later he did – in front of their 4 kids (ages 3 to 6) 11:44 AM 

Me: that’s crazy 11:44 AM 

Nina: ? 11:45 AM 

Me: weird timing to read that 11:45 AM 

Me: anyways, so you’re marrying your stalker and you’ll have a baby? Good for you (I guess, you mentioned security). I hope it all works out and he’s not going crazy on you one day. 11:46 AM 

Nina: Why 11:46 AM 

Nina: it needs to be addressed now… 11:52 AM 

Nina: Because why drop it just to pick it back up later I don’t operate like that not with clients not with friends not with family if something needs to be addressed 11:52 AM 

Nina: Because like you said well keep talking about it and I won’t go anywhere 11:52 AM 

Me: oh, maybe I misunderstood, it seemed like you don’t want to tell me and asked if I’d insist? am I wrong? 11:52 AM 

Me: like I will tell you if you really want to know 11:52 AM 

Me: I was more like I can accept to not talk about it 11:53 AM 

Nina: I was asking did you want to hear the story or drop the story 11:53 AM 

Me: this is why I hate texting 11:53 AM 

Nina: But yeah I don’t even want to talk about it anymore… 11:53 AM 

Me: a lot got ruined by texting 11:53 AM 

Nina: I’ve spoke with lawyers I created my will… he agreed to go along with the will… should we do this. Nothing is mines of his and vice versa except the health benefits 11:53 AM 

Nina: And educational benefits awarded to his children 11:54 AM 

Nina: Ok 11:58 AM 

Nina: If I decide to go through with this… he will give me a baby. However my babies will have more then his babies will ever have… and he doesn’t want it to go 11:59 AM 

Nina: college, dental… 11:59 AM 

Nina: down like that… so if him and I get married all our children (his, mines and our baby) will be awarded all the same benefits. Health care, free 4 year 11:59 AM 

Nina: If he acts up and decides to go crazy then he loses those benefits for his children because I will divorce him… 12:00 PM 

Nina: The lawyers and I already spoke and everything I have no before marriage is NOT community property so he doesn’t stand a shot fighting for something he isn’t 12:00 PM 

Nina: entitled too… 12:00 PM 

Nina: THIS IS ONLY IF I GO THROUGH WITH IT. I win a baby and he wins benefits for himself and his children… we won’t live together etc… 12:01 PM 

Nina: But at this point I’m tired of waiting for the right guy to have a baby with… Ive dont 6 on my own and I know he’ll be there for support when I need it 12:02 PM 

Nina: because essentially he’s all I have now anyways… if that makes sense 12:02 PM 

Nina: But it’s all talk… Nothing is moving in action as of now except my trip to the doctors… 12:02 PM 

Why talking to me again and unloading all this BS onto me?

This is now more like a case study to me, seriously.

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