Babies, boredom and ultimatums

Nina – boredom, ultimatums, babies

Yesterday the conversation just stopped at some point, deep silence.

I had no idea what was going on with Nina, all of a sudden she seemed to be a different person.

Nina: So I guess I won’t be talking to you later ? Good morning Oliver. How are you this morning? 11:01 AM 

Me: Good morning, I’m fine, thank you. It was just disappointing to read what you said yesterday. We had so many conversations, if you really have the feeling that I’m missing something – communication is key, in every relationship, friendship or whatever it would be simply the right thing to do to point it out. So we started seeing each other more often (so it seemed) but then you change the day after having sex. No chance for development, growth… only a I’d like to do lunch but I cant’t. Totally useless text especially when I said “maybe later” and I get “not possible”. 11:11 AM 

Nina: But if I point out everything that is wrong then I would be shaping and molding “my man” we’ve talked about our wants and needs for a while so I figured that 11:49 AM 

Nina: you knew what I was looking for, assuming you were listening and agreeing with me to nearly everything. Nothing changed after sex… even if you would have said I’m coming over after work last night I would have still saw you. If you scroll through out past messages before we had we had sex. You will see that 11:49 AM 

Nina: that’s what our topics were about… no real engagement on anything else I have spoken about… such as my daughter, the kids pissing me off etc… sex was what the convos had been about 11:49 AM 

Me: you recently used the words “us” more and more often (things you wanted to do for “us”) and yes, you were also talking about a relationship but no worries, it doesn’t matter what you wanted yesterday or before, it only matters what you want today. 11:52 AM 

Nina: I don’t hate you… I’m just here right now seeing if you’re really the one. Basically pushing the breaks and wanting to establish a friendship first before anything. I’ve said before, I fell in love with this fairytale of being with you and doing things with you, growing old with you and maybe in my head and conversations it seem far fetched… but so far all we have really done together is sit in my house and talk, and sex… I mean seriously, who wants that… I know you work extreme hours and I don’t hold that against you. At all. Because I had to accept that before even committing my time to you 11:52 AM 

Nina: What I wanted yesterday, last weeks and since January was to give you and us a chance. Nothing else changed except establishing a friendship first and setting lower standards in hopes you push beyond them. That’s fair enough. 11:54 AM 

Me: I enjoyed our conversations and of course I wanted to spend time in person. You want it all like yesterday, we didn’t really talk about it or you brushed me off. 11:55 AM 

Me: in every friendship or relationship it should be ok to point out the wants and needs at any time 11:57 AM 

Me: and then talk about the best way to achieve those goals 11:57 AM 

Nina: Well I wanted to have sex… and I don’t feel like it’s all about sex with you. I don’t feel like that was your intentions… 12:15 PM 

Nina: I guess I do want it all yesterday because being in a relationship was what you wanted right off the back. You kept asking me if I want you or not so I felt like I had to give an answer and things would take off from there… there is so much to consider when wanting to downsize your hours and or leave your job… 12:19 PM 

Nina: we have to be logical in every decision we make… you and I both want a baby. We both want to raise our babies with no cares in the world… that comes with financial responsibility, living comfortable, medical insurance, dental etc… that also comes with less traveling… and more time together… so what if we grow to hate each other because we are around each other so much…. 12:19 PM 

Me: I can see that this is something YOU are worried about, I’m definitely not and I do not hate people. Period. Even if they do me wrong. And again, communication is key and be willing to make compromises – or no relationship works 12:21 PM 

Nina: you’re right communication is key. 1:09 PM 

Nina: I do like you beyond a lot… and I don’t want to ruin it… by my wants and needs because I do want and need a lot… even if I don’t “act like it”. I am a spoiled brat and I feel like if timing were better you’d spoil me beyond what I need. And I mean spoiled emotionally, mentally and physically. 1:12 PM 

Me: Well maybe you should “act like it” and let people know what you want and need 2:12 PM 

Nina: Wow… lol acting is easy 2:40 PM 

Me: you mean acting up, like you do 2:46 PM 

Nina: I do it well huh? 2:47 PM 

Nina: You love it 2:47 PM 

Me: yea you do it well and no, I don’t love it 2:47 PM 

Nina: ? 2:48 PM 

Nina: That’s pretty sad because that’s who I am. It’s what makes me 2:48 PM 

Me: yes, I know that’s who you are 2:49 PM 

Nina: Anyways. Wanna see what I made yesterday? 3:00 PM 

Me: sure 3:00 PM 

Me: (after receiving a picture) nice 3:00 PM 

Nina: Are you getting ready for work? 3:03 PM 

Me: yes 3:03 PM 

Nina: Ok. Well I guess we shall talk later… 3:07 PM 

Nina: Ok. Well I guess we shall talk later… 3:08 PM 

Me: ok 3:08 PM 

Nina: Ok. Well I guess we shall talk later… 3:08 PM 

Me: your texts keep coming 3:13 PM 

Nina: Oh wow.. what is up with our phones… smh 4:28 PM 

Nina: Well I am home now waiting on electrician 4:29 PM 

Me: ok 5:03 PM 

Me: what is he supposed to do / fix? 5:12 PM 

Me: I hope the house didn’t burn down?! 8:15 PM 

Nina: Hey baby. Oh my goodness my feet hurt so bad!! 9:27 PM 

Nina: I am just sitting down for the first time 9:27 PM 

Nina: The electrician is going to install deck lighting and front lawn lighting so I can have them on a sensor cells and light this house up… we are still trying to figure out this damn guest house. I guess I have to call them and have them run it’s on electric so I’ll have two bills. 9:29 PM 

Nina: Then I met my neighbor today. And his internet guys were in my yard in and out. So my dogs had to be tied up.. and I gave them the gate opener to come and go. 9:30 PM 

Nina: Then Pete comes over to pick up his tractor and give me my other remote gate opener and you know he can talk for hours… lol 9:30 PM 

Nina: So here I am. I am so sorry. You missed me? 9:31 PM 

Me: As long as nothing bad happened it’s all good. 10:16 PM 

Nina: Right, because you would save me ? 10:25 PM 

Me: not if you don’t keep me in the loop and I wouldn’t even know that you’re in trouble 10:29 PM 

Nina: That is true. I’m So sorry things just got crazy. 10:30 PM 

Nina: Wyd? Pretty busy? 10:30 PM 

Me: no, it’s quiet now, looking forward to get out at 12 10:31 PM 

Nina: Ahhh pretty good 10:31 PM 

Me: Are we still seeing each other? If so when? 10:41 PM 

Nina: I would like to try and build one with you. I just don’t know where to start. And I would love to see you tomorrow 10:46 PM 

Nina: If possible but I know how hard the weekends can get ? 10:46 PM 

Me: yeah, Friday is highly unlikely, another reason why I want to get out of this job. So what are you doing tonight? 10:47 PM 

Nina: Tonight I am in the bed with the kiddos. I didn’t even get to see them 10:50 PM 

Nina: all day so I said we would hang out in the loft and sleep and they are still awake ? 10:50 PM 

Nina: So I’m laying here trying to purchase a projector and screen for the balcony upstairs. I already ordered the bed and table set 10:51 PM 

Me: I see, ok 🙁 10:53 PM 

Me: if everyone is still awake I could have met y’all 11:06 PM 

Nina: It’s late and they have school babe. 11:08 PM 

Me: I know I know 11:09 PM 

Nina: I know on your end leaving your job would benefit you and would clear up a lot of time. But it’s still hard on my end because I have kids. 11:09 PM 

Nina: I’m sure it will get easier in the summer to run away with you but they need me sometimes ? 11:09 PM 

Nina: This is why I’m seriously considering not only homeschooling but an RV. 11:09 PM 

Me: I know 11:10 PM 

Nina: If you leave this job will you still have medical? Assuming you have medical now. 11:10 PM 

Me: no, I’d have to find something 11:11 PM 

Nina: That’s a huge risk huh? 11:11 PM 

Me: no I’d just get health insurance 11:11 PM 

Nina: Really it’s just that easy? I bet expensive? I dont know. You’ve been around the world and know more then me… the military just made it easier for me so I 11:12 PM 

Nina: have no clue how that works 11:12 PM 

Me: Yeah, it depends on the income 11:13 PM 

Me: I cannot allow a job to dictate or even ruin my life 11:14 PM 

Nina: I know babe and I’m sure you thought all this through. Just you’re about to move etc. that’s a lot to take on. 11:14 PM 

Me: did you fall asleep? 11:32 PM 

Nina: Oh no I was watching a baby shower video 11:32 PM 

Nina: Guys trying to push baby balloons out their belly’s 11:32 PM 

Me: lol 11:35 PM 

Nina: That’s what ima do with you and you’re friends if you have any. When we (if we) have a baby 11:36 PM 

Me: I don’t even know how that looks like 11:37 PM 

Nina: Are you on Facebook? Sometimes I wanna share videos with you about things I see and it’s hard to do 11:37 PM 

Me: no, like I said, when they changed their terms and conditions at some point I decided to delete it. I never used it a lot anyways 11:38 PM 

Me: you can share all Facebook videos with a person who doesn’t have Facebook 11:38 PM 

Nina: Ahhh well there goes that ? 11:38 PM 

Me: goes what 11:39 PM 

Nina: How? 11:39 PM 

Nina: Like in a message? 11:39 PM 

Me: it’s been so long… I guess with share or just copy the link 11:39 PM 

Nina: Sharing videos via Facebook and or telling the whole world “that guy 11:40 PM 

Nina: is my man” back off bitches ? 11:40 PM 

Me: lol 11:41 PM 

Nina: I probably would do that because I’m petty 11:47 PM 

Me: are the kids still not asleep? 11:51 PM 

Nina: Nope 11:52 PM 

Me: ugh 11:53 PM 

Nina: I know. They usually pull this mess on Thursday’s because they know they can sleep in Saturday 11:54 PM 

Nina: Lol 11:54 PM 

Nina: Maybe we can do lunch on Saturday… 11:54 PM 

Me: ok, I hope Friday night won’t be too long so that I’ll get out of bed at a decent time on Saturday 11:58 PM 

Me: omw to the car 12:01 AM 

Me: driving home ? 12:02 AM 

Nina: I’m sorry babes ?. I should of planned better 12:03 AM 

Me: Yeah yeah 12:04 AM 

Me: they should fall asleep eventually, like you said, there is school tomorrow 12:04 AM 

Nina: Don’t yeah yeah me cry baby? 12:04 AM 

Me: yet I just did so what? 12:06 AM 

Nina: R u sleepy 12:07 AM 

Nina: N I’m sure they’ll be asleep soon. Probably would’ve been asleep if I would’ve went downstairs 12:07 AM 

Me: I’m not sleepy 12:08 AM 

Nina: So what are you gonna do? 12:08 AM 

Me: I haven’t decided yet 12:08 AM 

Nina: Tending to a baby would be a breeze for you. Do you ever really sleep. I mean deep good sleep babes? 12:09 AM 

Me: no 12:13 AM 

Nina: Why ?? you want me to hold you? 12:14 AM 

Me: I’m home so when they’re all asleep let me know and I’ll sneak in (I should have let you give me the door code but you probably would have changed it) 12:14 AM 

Nina: ???? 12:14 AM 

Nina: I dont know how to change it 12:15 AM 

Nina: How is mom doing? Did you check on her 12:16 AM 

Me: yea, she’s better 12:17 AM 

Nina: That’s great to hear 12:18 AM 

Me: selective reading 12:21 AM 

Nina: I’m Going to schedule a whole day/night for us. Breakfast, massages, lunch, and dinner with a hotel so we can relax and sleep in all day.. etc. No selective 12:21 AM 

Nina: reading babe. I heard you loud and clear. Tracking 12:21 AM 

Me: all right 12:22 AM 

Nina: I asked them if they wanted to just stay home tomorrow (brain day) and they said no!!! Ugh. What kids say no… lol 12:22 AM 

Me: lol 12:23 AM 

Me: So you’re going to sleep? 12:30 AM 

Nina: No not yet 12:30 AM 

Nina: I’m about to shut upstairs down.. 12:31 AM 

Me: oh, ok 12:31 AM 

Nina: I doubt tonight is gonna work babes 12:31 AM 

Me: I was thinking to hide some speakers either under the grass or another place where you won’t find them and then play creepy noises so that you’ll beg me to come over 12:33 AM 

Nina: Lol that wouldn’t work?… I’m sure I’ll call my first sgt first… 12:34 AM 

Nina: he’s my go to guy for everything. After he scopes it out then I would send for you ? 12:34 AM 

Me: I see, ok, I’ll come up with a better plan then 12:36 AM 

Nina: Lol you want me to beg you to come over?. Get me pregnant. I’ll never want you to leave because I’m a baby. I probably wouldn’t even want you to work because I’ll cry ?? 12:37 AM 

Nina: Or pray for thunderstorms I fear the hell out of those things 12:37 AM 

Me: So is everyone asleep now (no worries, not asking again to come over, just curious) 12:39 AM 

Nina: And I want to get some sex?. I’m about to lay down now 12:41 AM 

Nina: If it’s no relationship then fine… I’ve only been saying I get bored since January and you always throw this relationship status quo at me… lol. I’m over it 12:41 AM 

Nina: at this point… being in or out of a relationship with you will. It change the fact that I get bored. And maybe that’s not the right words… but you always 12:41 AM 

Nina: tell me to let it go and try… But here you are saying BS stuff like no relationship then… ugh, then seriously keep the relationship… you’re killing me with these ultimatums… Goodnight babe12:42 AM 

Me: good night 12:43 AM 

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