I am a big brat

I am a big brat!

We talked a lot about more common things and Nina was acting strange.

This was not the first time that she called herself a “big brat”!

Nina: Im a big brat- let you tell it ? 7:20 PM 

Nina: Seriously I was setting up all my computers and stuff in my office. 7:21 PM 

Me: ok. Can you tell me again what you’d like to do regarding us? That sounded kinda negative earlier but maybe I misunderstood 7:38 PM 

Me: where I come from little or big spoiled brats get a spanking. Maybe that’s the right course of action with you? 7:44 PM 

Nina: I fail to see how it sounded negative. Just no one is up at 12 A.M. waiting to get to know someone. You are use to that schedule. I am not. Although I have insomnia and am up pretty late I value the time I have already be after chasing kids all day. 8:01 PM 

Nina: I didn’t mean for it to sound harsh but understand I am up at 530- running all day with these kids… so I tend to be a little sleepy or not up for entertaining 8:03 PM 

Nina: at midnight. I’m trying to sleep at 730-800 to catch you when you get off but it’s not always easy. 8:03 PM 

Me: Does that mean we won’t meet again? 8:03 PM 

Nina: No that’s not what that means… stop looking for words that aren’t there… for a lawyer you sure do have the desire to put words in my mouth… 8:05 PM 

Me: lol, no, not at all 8:06 PM 

Nina: life… my kids, I’m sick of it all. I can’t be in a relationship because I’m not happy anymore, im frustrated… it’s either I am dealt by with these kids or I’m 8:10 PM 

Nina: I mean maybe you are the perfect guy for me, you’d complete and everything if I took the time… but I’ve said it time and time again… I’m exhausted with searching for peace of mind… because somedays I have it all together and some days I do not.. 8:10 PM 

Nina: I am sure there is someone out there for you… or for any man wanting myself anymore… ? 8:11 PM 

Nina: my attention… but I can’t give love right now… I barely love myself, just allow somebody to get close and see where it goes. 8:11 PM 

Nina: I am trying… but I’m literally on the edge of losing my mind? 8:12 PM 

Me: but if you don’t want that right now I respect that of course. 8:12 PM 

Me: and you’re not losing your mind, it’s just hard sometimes, we all have those phases 8:14 PM 

Nina: My phase has been for over a year… I’m with these kids 24/7. I don’t want my daughter in this damn house I hate her that much. You know she told my son last night again “at least I have a dad”… he is 6 dude… I’m so sick of that child. She would run any man off… I’d rather just not put anyone through her BS… 8:16 PM 

Me: nobody runs me off, stop making assumptions 8:17 PM 

Nina: ?? 8:17 PM 

Me: and if it’s really too hard I gave you a few links where you could at least look for help 8:18 PM 

Nina: Yes. I have s couple of CPS services (friends) looking into removing her from the home… because I would seriously end up in jail for trying to hurt her… I 8:24 PM 

Nina: don’t know dude, I say keep your lines open. Don’t subject yourself to just me. I’m still a work in progress… I’ll get there 8:24 PM 

Me: keep your lines open? if you want to do that then that’s fine, I’m not like that 8:25 PM 

Me: but I get it, ok. ? 8:26 PM 

Me: So do you want to “get there” with or without me? I’m not a stalker, I’m persistent, loyal and supportive but I don’t want to bother you, say that word and I’ll leave you alone, I’d never stalk or harm you 8:36 PM 

Nina: I want to get there with you. I just have to figure out a solution to all that’s in my head driving me insane. I have to get back to self care 8:40 PM 

Nina: I don’t think it’s my kids. It’s my OCD… I hate living in dysfunction… craft room, back yard full of mud… trying to contain the dogs… opening gates all day.. dogs inside all day.. etc. my kids add to it but it’s no different then how it use to be at the other house. It just feels different… Maybe I need a maid service, a daily outing where it’s for joy and joy not for needs… (buying cars)… i dont know I need time to think 8:45 PM 

Nina: I need the world to stop for 5 minutes… 8:46 PM 

Nina: Goodnight 9:21 PM 

Me: You’re going to bed so early? Ok, good night, rest well. 9:22 PM

Complaints about her daughter again, I didn’t know what to do!

Would she really hurt her daughter one day?

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