So you followed the advice from the last post but it didn’t work out, you didn’t get your ex back. I’m sorry to hear that but some things are just not meant to be. You ended up here to read about how to get over a break up.
There are a lot of sad songs and movies that talk about a painful breakup, everyone has experienced this pain at least once in their lifetime. But if you are the one looking for how to get over a breakup, that’s not much comfort. The sad truth is that the one thing you’re going to need to find happiness again is time. All people deal with things in their own time, some will take longer than others, but ultimately you will need time to grieve over your lost love and heal all the hurts and doubts that the breakup has caused, only then can you really be a whole person who can open up and love someone again.
Our society is a very fast paced society, most of us have the attention span of a gnat. It’s no different when we want relief from pain, we want the suffering to stop now. The sad thing is many people will use the wrong methods to stop their pain and end up causing more pain to not only themselves but other people they meet.
It’s a common cliche that after a bad breakup someone will go out and tie one on and get drunk. The problem is that this doesn’t really help you feel better. Many people don’t realize it but alcohol is a depressant and it will only intensify the pain you are feeling. Add to that the embarrassment of drunken dialing and the hangover and you have to seriously reconsider your post breakup strategy.
Another pain killer used by many people going through a breakup is a warm body… any warm body. Some people think that if they rush out and find someone to have sex with that they will forget all about their ex ( they are also secretly hoping that their ex will hear all about it and get jealous). The problem with this strategy, apart from the fact that it can be dangerous and that you run the risk of hurting the new person you’re with, is that it doesn’t work either. Just like with drinking too much, if you go out and meet someone new before you are ready you’re just going to compare them to your ex. Instead of getting your ex off of your mind you’ll be thinking of them more, and putting them on a pedestal when you do.
The best thing to do, even though it sucks, is to face your pain head on. This is the only way you can fully deal with it so that you can heal enough to have a healthy relationship in the future. Spend time doing things that bring you happiness, particularly those things that you didn’t have the time to do when you and your ex were together. This might not speed up your healing process too much but it will give you some much needed distractions while you are healing and a lot fewer regrets when you’re ready to move on.
When it comes to learning how to get over a breakup, learning what not to do is as important, maybe more important, as learning what you should do. Just remember that you want to be able to look at your own reflection in the mirror after this is all over.
I lost a good friend who ended up in depression after a break up. Don’t allow this to happen to you!