Dark clouds at the horizon

God, change (permanent) and the tooth fairy…

Until this day I didn’t know that texting can be kind of exhausting especially if the other person keeps going on and on.

I need some quiet time

Nina:  Good-morning handsome! You were On my mind ?? 7:53 AM 

Me: Good morning. Awww, thank you very much, that’s so sweet. 8:55 AM 

Nina:  Well it’s true! 8:56 AM 

Me: So how are you feeling this morning? 8:58 AM 

Nina:  I am ok. Back at it in my future office room. I plan on finishing it by 8:59 AM 

Nina:  tomorrow. So I can be stress free for the most part ?. 8:59 AM 

Nina:  You’re right you know. I need to stop sheltering myself and Allowing my kids to dictate my life. I guess it was guilt and allowing them freedoms as they grieve. 9:00 AM 

Nina:  But it’s time to get back to our norm… 9:00 AM 

Me: that’s right, patience and discipline 9:06 AM 

Me: no child is born evil – except in a few horror movies 9:06 AM 

Nina:  Is that another one of your jokes ? 9:08 AM 

Me: Not really. So what changes are you going to make (what does “stop sheltering yourself” mean by your definition)? How will you prevent them from dictating your life? 9:17 AM 

Nina:  time ?? 9:19 AM 

Nina:  So many personal questions. I may have to start charging you for my time 9:19 AM 

Nina:  I need to stop trying to sleep when they anger me and find a different outlet as a means of self care… go get my hair done, nails done etc.. and leave them 9:20 AM 

Nina:  with s list of to do chores while I am away. Watch my favorite movie and binge snack… lol 9:20 AM 

Nina:  By saying fuck it, mentally… a child’s opinion is appreciated but it doesn’t/shouldn’t dictate how I live my life, unless I’m putting them in danger… which 9:21 AM 

Nina:  I would never do. I just need to live. Get out the house and stop catering to this home as if I never owned something before. Lol. Does that make sense? 9:21 AM 

Nina:  Definitely need to work on my OCD. 9:21 AM 

Me: Yes you should work on that, and you were seriously thinking about getting another baby? 9:22 AM 

Nina:  Yes, because this is a temporary phase I got through right now. This isn’t who I am as a person or I would have never had another baby from jump 9:38 AM 

Nina:  I really am a lovable person, caring, family oriented and I love pretty hard. I’m just adjusting to having kids 24/7 with no breaks. My 19 year old can’t be 9:40 AM 

Nina:  left alone with them. However, my 18 year old is a grown ass man, mature etc. I trust him with them… but he’s lazy and doesn’t want to work or go to school so 9:40 AM 

Nina:  bringing him home isn’t the best ideal at this point. He’d be added stress 9:40 AM 

Me: Where is he right now and what is he doing? 9:44 AM 

Me: The one I met the other night, that’s your 19yr old?! 9:44 AM 

Nina:  Yes, that’s mommy’s boy. Full time college boy, working two jobs… but friends mean more right now when he comes to visit. He lives far East. The 18 year old (computer guy) is a living up under his aunt and their family… basically trying to figure out life. Never had a job and won’t go to college 9:46 AM 

Me: Jumping topics: maybe getting a nanny isn’t a bad idea 9:53 AM 

Nina:  You wanna is pay for it ???. Mr. Rich and famous. Lol 9:54 AM 

Me: I’m neither rich nor famous, well, famous maybe, lol 9:56 AM 

Nina:  It was a joke?. You really should just losen up a little ? 9:57 AM 

Me: I’m fine the way I am 10:02 AM 

Nina:  Ok 10:03 AM 

Me: We had a nanny, a cleaning lady, even a cook in a much smaller household 10:08 AM 

Nina:  Nice! 10:08 AM 

Me: your sanity (and freedom by not going to jail, lol) should be worth it 10:09 AM 

Me: what your plans for the weekend? 10:31 AM 

Nina:  Cleaning 10:34 AM 

Me: how exciting 10:34 AM 

Me: I wish I could join you, too bad that my schedule won’t allow it 🙂 10:35 AM 

Nina:  Disciplining and micromanaging the kids… I done whooped my youngest like 7 times today. (By whopped I mean hit her hand) she keeps letting the dogs loose on the workers… 10:35 AM 

Me: you’re hitting your 2 year old? Omg 10:47 AM 

Nina:  Why oh my goodness? 10:48 AM 

Me: Well, you’re the mom, you do it your way. I shouldn’t have said that. 11:02 AM 

Nina:  I only tap her hands. She is not getting hit with the belt. She knows better… because even she hits her own hands when she knows she can’t do something… 11:03 AM 

Me: I’m wondering why we as kids always obeyed our parents without them ever laying hands on us 11:06 AM 

Me: you had a different view of parental authority back in the days 11:06 AM 

Me: on the other side – how could a 2 year old possibly know the difference? Why does she not have the same respect like we did? 11:07 AM 

Nina:  She knows because she is constantly reminded to leave the doors alone… I had to tighten up with her because we now have the pool. What do you mean respect? 11:10 AM 

Nina:  She is in a very active stage in her life, hence terrible two’s in this age I have to find a reasonable punishment for her. Hand tapping is by far not hurting her… 11:10 AM 

Nina:  I dont know. I was whooped as a child… but it had to be extreme.. talking back to adults… other than that I wasn’t really… same applies to my kids. They rarely got disciplined with some form of whipping. 11:11 AM 

Nina:  I remember my husband was the same as you… never wanted to hit our children.. said there are different methods… so I allowed him to raise our oldest son the way he saw fit and it irritated the nerve that I wouldn’t allow him to discipline our child the way I would have… and his (our) child ran him into the ground…. 11:13 AM 

Me: I mean back in the days I had respect for my parents, for my teachers, made space for older people in the bus, respect was just part of us as kids (until a certain age, like 16 when you got more rebellious thinking you’re close to be an adult, lol). 11:13 AM 

Me: and looking at my coworkers, some have the sweetest kids and others little monsters 11:14 AM 

Nina:  So while I get your point of views… kids aren’t raised the way we were raised… these kids are taught in school to use CPS services and such. I had a CPS last argue with me for taking my child’s phone away from her… as a form of discipline… so basically I’m raising my child according to how different CPS workers see fit, which is why my 13 year old is out of control… because she calls them every single time she wants her way… 11:15 AM 

Me: My bosses secretary, she has a 5 year old and her husband died but the boy is also sweet, witty and very polite. 11:15 AM 

Nina:  And it sucks because they go to the younger kids schools interview them… wanna check my fridge and my babies wet diapers and they prey over me like hawks… 11:16 AM 

Me: I should ask how she’s raising him, lol 11:16 AM 

Nina:  so I give up… and don’t tell her to improve nothing and leave her be… I just won’t buy her nothing or take her no where.. 11:16 AM 

Nina:  My children are very sweet and well mannered… however they push my buttons… 11:16 AM 

Nina:  All children do… you’ll see when you meet them… 11:16 AM 

Me: Ok 11:17 AM 

Nina:  If you ever meet them… I should say 11:17 AM 

Me: yeah, I figured that, lol 11:17 AM 

Me: I’ve been working since 8.30 for my friend who offered me the job. So for now I’ll work 4 hours in the morning to just see how it goes. They will regret that, lol, I like to change things and make them more efficient. 11:20 AM 

Nina:  Lol. That’s good though. It challenges you. 11:28 AM 

Nina:  Is that where you are right now? 11:28 AM 

Me: what do you mean “where”? 11:40 AM 

Nina:  Are you working 11:41 AM 

Me: yes 11:44 AM 

Me: the good thing is (with a few exceptions) I can work at my own pace 11:44 AM 

Nina:  Awww to bad! 11:46 AM 

Me: what’s bad about it? 11:46 AM 

Nina:  And that’s good. Still here in town? Or is that too personal to ask? 11:47 AM 

Nina:  Too bad I wanted a lunch date ? 11:47 AM 

Me: of all days? Lol, such a coincidence, so that’s what they mean when they say “Karma is a bitch”, lol 11:48 AM 

Me: Do you believe suffering is self-inflicted? 12:29 PM 

Nina:  I do believe. Anything that causes harm to self- is self inflicted…. 12:30 PM 

Nina:  You have a choice… to either do or don’t do… 12:31 PM 

Me: While I’m not invulnerable to pain I’ve been invulnerable to suffering for many, many years. I agree, it’s a choice and I’ve been choosing to not suffer. 12:36 PM 

Nina:  There are three things I don’t believe in… God, change (permanent) and the tooth fairy… 12:40 PM 

Nina:  I take that back! 4…. I do not believe we’ve been out yet space… at all. I think it’s a Hollywood production being served to the public when we view earth from satellites… 12:42 PM 

Nina:  Not yet *of 12:42 PM 

Me: I believe in the first 2 but not the tooth fairy . Why would I be in town? Remember that I told you the awesome thing about the other job is / would be that I could work from home so I was sitting in my office. 12:43 PM 

Nina:  Ohhh yeah I forgot… you live outside of town… smh.

Nina:  ?. Maybe I’ll know by next year… after we get married, have a baby and another baby ??♀️ then I will know everything there is to know about you… 12:44 PM 

Me: rofl 12:44 PM 

Nina:  Go ahead… call me a brat… lol You like this brat ? 12:45 PM 

Me: You got the jokes. My opinions about the moon landing are very mixed. 12:45 PM 

Nina:  ? 12:45 PM 

Me: Some say Stanley Kubrick did it 12:45 PM 

Me: I’m still wondering how good the communication often was while you couldn’t get a good signal from the Olympics taking place in a foreign country 12:46 PM 

Nina:  Right 12:47 PM 

Me: But in the end I do believe it happened for real, astronauts have brought back hundreds of independently verified moon rocks, that’s not possible to make that up. 12:50 PM 

Me: and if it was a hoax after so many years somebody would have talked, somebody who was drunk, needed money or whatever 12:51 PM 

Nina:  But who’s verifying other believers 12:52 PM 

Nina:  Well people to start talking and then FBI/CIA… DEA or whoever kills them 12:53 PM 

Nina:  I dont know… maybe conspiracy theories I get all that from my dad. Ever read the book behold a pale horse? 12:53 PM 

Nina:  I’m still wondering what it is about me that still has you hanging 12:54 PM 

Nina:  around ? 12:54 PM 

Me: yeah, but I don’t believe that. Also, Japan had their own 3D terrain images of the moon and they confirmed, that they match pictures from the Apollo 15 mission 12:54 PM 

Me: Why are you wondering about that? 12:58 PM 

Nina:  I dont know my dad asked me… this morning.. lol.. he said he must if 1:01 PM  found wild pictures of you online… lol. He’s a tech guy too ?. So of course “wild pics” of me in the Internet would have been brought to my attention long time ago… 1:01 PM 

Me: Wild pictures? Let me Google them, lol. Honestly, if they’re out there I wouldn’t know, I don’t care and if I would see them it wouldn’t mean anything to me. A few (conspiracy) theories why I’m sticking around: I was hired (through the agency REVENGE) by family member who don’t like you to gain your trust and break your heart #2: We met a few years ago in a bar, you rejected me and now I’m out for revenge. My accent is all fake, I’m a homeless loser out for revenge 1:03 PM 

Nina:  Really? 1:01 PM 

Me: #3 I’m actually not real, I’m just part of your imagination and if somebody else would look at your phone they’d see that you’re schizophrenic and that I am you. 1:04 PM 

Nina:  All good ones 1:05 PM 

Me: #4 I’m an alien from another planet trying to socialize and you’re one of the 50 women I am communicating with 1:05 PM 

Me: All 50 of you have different characters, ethnicites, backgrounds and so on. We want to study it all, also the worst (you) – lol 1:06 PM 

Nina:  ???? 1:06 PM 

Nina:  I am the worst huh ??? 1:06 PM 

Nina:  You’re so petty! 1:06 PM 

Me: #5 Sometimes you just meet a person and find him or her interesting or feel somehow drawn to him or her and you don’t really know why 1:07 PM 

Nina:  Do you ever ask yourself why? 1:07 PM 

Me: #6 – watch the old “Stepfather” movies, lol 1:07 PM 

Me: (those horror movies about the nice guy who turns out to be horrible) 1:07 PM 

Me: No, I’m not asking myself why 1:08 PM 

Nina:  I don’t ask why either. I just get bored. Lol 1:08 PM 

Me: well get bored, just talk to the next guy then 1:09 PM 

Nina:  Well my house is in shambles thanks to my 2 year old. But I’m glad to say my garage is done… I just have to put away another 30 boxes (which can wait- they are in the guest house) and I’ll be done. 1:09 PM

Nina:  Well I don’t just move on the next guy… lol. I would have dated the whole state if I did that… 1:09 PM 

Me: so why are you still talking to me? I am boring, nothing really special (special needs but I’m hiding it) 1:10 PM 

Nina:  Because you have my interest. You get on my nerves… you’re persistent and I think that’s a winner in my book. As I am persistent too 1:11 PM 

Me: Maybe I’m just jobless and don’t have anything better to do (so charming those Germans, aren’t they, lol) 1:12 PM 

Me: #7 I’m writing a book for my publisher “Real bitches of America” 1:13 PM 

Nina:  There is something about you… I don’t know what it is. Maybe you are… jobless, homeless, married, bored, a spy, a long lost family members but I like you. 1:13 PM 

Me: #8 I’m simply writing a book about online dating 1:13 PM 

Nina:  Save my chapter for last… that book would sell millions. 1:13 PM 

Me: Well, I can assure you, I’m not married, not job- or homeless, I don’t know what “bored” is because I’m never bored, I’m not a spy (if so I don’t know it and I’ve been completely brainwashed) and I’m definitely not a family member 1:15 PM 

Nina:  Maybe not a family member of mines… (we hardly resemble each other) but my dads family is definitely from Europe… 1:16 PM 

Me: And I have no idea what women see in me. Don’t misinterpret this for low self-esteem, I know I am smart and nice but I remember I was sitting at a table in Vegas and a lady came all across from the other side of the room and said “I kept looking at you and something told me to come over here and talk to you”. I was looking for the hidden camera (because I honestly thought it was a prank). 1:17 PM 

Nina:  Even though we met face to face… I still don’t know much about you. That’s funny. I dont know what men see in me. I started to drill you- but my son wouldn’t let me ☺️. He told me that I’m in the wrong profession- I should of been an interrogator) 1:18 PM 

Nina:  mean, outspoken, don’t kiss, and hurt feelings for a living (totally 1:18 PM 

Me: Yeah, interrogator sounds pretty good. Why did he tell you to be nice? 1:25 PM 

Nina:  the reason he will never ever ever ever date a black lady. ?. He 1:28 PM 

Nina:  Because he says I’m the biggest bitch known to mankind… and that I’m out there who can do for me that I can’t do myself… but he said maybe one day I’ll meet my match if I shut the hell up sometimes 1:28 PM 

Nina:  ???. Exact words from a mommy’s boy. 1:28 PM 

Nina:  He says I’m demanding, and can put men to shame because there ain’t a man who wouldn’t fall in love with me. 1:28 PM 

Nina:  I think he loves me ? 1:29 PM 

Nina:  He also said you’re probably one of the most highly respectable guys he’s met since I was a single parent… before and after my ex.. After my ex there was only two other than you 1:30 PM 

Nina:  In closing he also said his siblings probably won’t take to you because you appear kid friendly… or funny ? 1:31 PM 

Me: he got all this Intel for seeing me for a few minutes? He should consider becoming a profiler 1:33 PM 

Me: I know you’re joking a lot so let me ask you (and no, I won’t Google), are there “wild pictures” of you out there? 1:34 PM 

Nina:  There are to be no wild pictures of me out there… no porn videos ? 1:37 PM 

Nina:  (that I know of) or anything wild… if there were to be able pictures 1:37 PM 

Nina:  of me even close to naked it would be from a doctor who performed surgery on me… and I highly doubt I gave permission to disclose my photos. 1:37 PM 

Nina:  I’m in a very strict professional field. I would hate to have to deal with a someone who looks at my “naked photos” and dangles it over my head. I don’t even pose for that type of bullshit.. google it ?. Unless my ex did some magical ignorant shit… 1:38 PM 

I don’t get it why people lie like that – she sent me a naked picture where she is clearly “posing” for the camera and explained “Oh, I was drunk that day”. If there is one picture like that – there might be more

Why are you lying to me? Smh

Me: Same here, never sent or took pictures or me naked or sent pee pee pictures to women 1:41 PM 

Me: no videos either 1:41 PM 

Nina:  Lmfao at pee pee ????. Stop it. Lol 1:42 PM 

Nina:  Guess I’ll be the first to get those pics and videos…. (live a little ?). 1:42 PM

Me: lol, nope, not gonna happen, trust me on this. And I don’t get drunk so no accidents 1:43 PM 

Nina:  I’m sure I’ve sent some to my ex for deployments… but the images were more like me “pregnant” and maybe topless a couple times… or a bra at least… 1:43 PM 

Nina:  Don’t have to be drunk. Lol 1:43 PM 

Nina:  You know what I hate more then anything in the world? Being told no. 1:45 PM 

Nina:  To anything and everything I ask… I would never ask of naked photos 1:45 PM 

Nina:  and I hate porn… but I hate the word “no” “I’ll try” and we’ll see” absolutely hate those words… So if I say I want Beyoncé’s 1:45 PM

Nina:  house… I need you to make that happen ?? 1:45 PM 

Me: that’s right, not gonna happen, like I said 🙂 1:45 PM 

Me: I’m sure you’ll get more “no”s, just wait and see (sorry to disappoint) 1:46 PM 

Nina:  I’m sure I won’t ? 1:46 PM 

Nina:  I wouldn’t even enter a relationship at the thought of being told “no” 1:46 PM 

Nina:  I’m good at temper tantrums ??? and being a brat. Ask my daddy 1:47 PM 

Nina:  he’ll tell you ??? 1:47 PM 

Me: Oh, I believe you, just remember yesterday, the spoiled brad phase 1:48 PM 

Me: You’re the living proof 1:48 PM 

Nina:  ???and guess what… you love it ? 1:49 PM 

Me: I’m not masochistic in any way or one of those individuals who like being humiliated or abused by women (in sexual or non-sexual ways) 1:50 PM 

Nina:  My dad never told me know… he made me answer myself… Dad, can I go to the movies… dad: how’s your grades? Attitude? Chores? Get this question right and 1:51 PM 

Nina:  you can go, deal. Me: sure thing. 1:51 PM 

Nina:  I’m glad you aren’t. And I don’t want to humiliate you in anyway or bitch you around either. I just don’t want to hear no.. deal? 1:52 PM 

Me: I’ll see what I can do 1:55 PM 

Nina:  Nobody is telling me “no”. If somebody is trying I will break him. 1:56 PM

Nina:  Why is your phone number from Ohio 2:05 PM 

Nina:  You lived in Ohio? Kinda creepy. 2:09 PM 

Me: no I didn’t live there, I lived in another state though before I came here, nothing creepy about it. 2:09 PM 

Me: I couldn’t get a phone in my name because I didn’t have a credit history 2:10 PM 

Me: my very very first phone was a burner phone 2:10 PM 

Me: but I wanted a “real” one 2:10 PM 

Me: those are all long stories, it’s a struggle to come to a foreign country maybe one day I’ll tell them at the fire place 2:10 PM 

Nina:  One day lol 2:11 PM 

Me: “I’ll find out the day I say “I do”” 2:14 PM 

Nina:  Exactly! Lol 2:14 PM 

Nina:  My 2 year old is testing my patience…. today! 2:17 PM 

Me: well, we’ll see if you’ll stick around or get bored with me eventually. Since we haven’t met again I am wondering what the future will bring. 2:17 PM 

Me: how is your daughter testing your patience? 2:20 PM 

Nina:  Oh my goodness she is everywhere!! I’m just like really pissed and 2:26 PM 

Nina:  over her right now. She let the dogs out again…. and then they 2:26 PM 

Nina:  trampled mud through out my freaking house…. I was suppose to take 2:26 PM 

Nina:  at-her… I change my mind… I don’t want anymore kids… ????. 2:26 PM 

Nina:  the kids for ice cream after school and now I’m just pissed 2:26 PM 

Nina:  She works my nerves about as much as her sister… I’m constantly 2:26 PM 

Nina:  chasing behind her and nothing gets done. 2:26 PM 

Nina:  Now I have to go get the boys and get this mess up… ??? and pray 2:26 PM 

Nina:  I calm down before I take it out on them… 2:26 PM 

Nina:  I pray to aliens 2:49 PM 

Nina:  Lol 2:49 PM 

Nina:  There is a higher power. I’m just not sure his name is God… I’m not sure what or who it is…. so when I pray I pray metaphorically 2:50 PM 

Nina:  Time to get ready for work babes… gotta make that money for Beyoncé’s house ?. What kind of music do you like? Can you dance? 3:09 PM

Nina:  Lol How about sing? 3:09 PM 

Me: I can’t sing very well. I wrote a few songs (even some in English) but not for myself. It’s been a while since I’ve been dancing, I don’t think I can do the classics anymore. Mucis depends on my mood. usually Alexa finds something for me. 3:13 PM 

Nina:  Ahhh I can call you on Alexa ??? 3:17 PM 

Me: I don’t think I have that activated but I’m not sure. Omw to work, enjoy your  free time (kind of) 3:32 PM 

Me: tomorrow there is no school, how about you stay up for me tonight? ? 3:58 PM 

Nina:  Hmmm what do I get out of it? Maybe 5:44 PM 

Me: what do you want to “get out” of it? 5:49 PM 

Nina:  A happy meal. Chicken nuggets 5:50 PM 

Me: lol 5:57 PM 

Me: you eat at night? 5:57 PM 

Nina:  Yes sir! 6:18 PM 

Me: I like the “Yes Sir”, that’s the spirit, lol, but eating at night? 6:21 PM 

Nina:  Hey. Sorry I was distant been dealing with my homeboy, pool guys and landscaper… 8:59 PM 

Nina:  I guess my daughter decided she wasn’t gonna come home tonight.. smfh. And then she just called me 15 min ago asking for me to come pick her up… smh. 9:00 PM 

Nina:  Everything is a game to her 9:00 PM 

Nina:  Well… I’m off to sleep. Got a long day ahead of me. Goodnight  9:34 PM 

Nina:  ? 9:34 PM 

I had no idea that there are dark clouds on the horizon!

Open your eyes and see!

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