I'll put my daughter in Foster care

Foster care

We were talking about meeting and then this happened…

Considering throwing my daughter into foster care.

Me: So since today is not a good day on your end and then Friday / Saturday is usy at work – should we aim for Sunday? 8:04 PM 

Nina: Yes that will work. Because I’m still livid. Considering throwing my daughter into foster care. I refuse to live another day in the same house with her. I’m out in the back with an electrician and I tell her to keep an eye on her sister (2) but since she is mad at me she allows her to open the back doors and allow my 205lbs mastiff outside!!! The electrician almost got attacked! 8:10 PM 

Me: oh my. Which daughter are you talking about, she’s the 18yr old? 8:11 PM 

Nina: No the 13- the runaway. In which I’m hoping she does… 8:12 PM 

Me: don’t say that please, I know you’re upset but still 8:12 PM 

Nina: If I see my kids anymore tonight I will literally lose my mind…. so how about the pool people tried to leave me with live wires under the ground exposed… so 8:15 PM 

Nina: I of course to protect the kids had to call my electrician and get him to solve the problem… in which he deaded the wires but $1000 later I have to fix the problem…. and the pool people think that that is okay… I’m so livid I could cry. Very unprofessional. And i just happen to be great at giving reviews!! And 8:15 PM 

Nina: they will not get a great review for this! 8:15 PM 

Me: oh my. well, if you feel like you need a shoulder to cry on later let me know before 12 (or later, actually it doesn’t really matter), I’ll be there 8:18 PM 

Nina: Awww ? that’s so sweet. I really need to consider hiring a nanny… 8:19 PM 

Nina: these are the times where I get mad that I am now single. 8:19 PM 

Me: oh, but what did your ex do in situations like that when you still lived together? 8:26 PM 

Nina: What do you mean? As far as my daughter? 8:28 PM 

Me: yes, when there was trouble with the kids or other difficult situations 8:28 PM 

Nina: I’ve always handled the kids because I’m more strict. He reasoned with them. But he could Of been tending to the electrician and stuff while I maintained the kids. If I had a migraine he wouldn’t reason and take it all on his own.. like I did today.. but usually we split task. 8:31 PM 

Me: ok 8:32 PM 

Me: but like I said, if you need a shoulder to cry on or just somebody to be there – let me know and if you don’t, no worries 8:33 PM 

Nina: Thank you means a lot. 8:39 PM 

Me: if you want me to be there every day let me know 8:40 PM 

Me: just kidding, but I was thinking maybe that’s what you need every now and then 8:41 PM 

Nina: Ha! I probably do! Kinda cool. And maybe I will keep you around ? 8:42 PM 

Me: Sorry, I was busy at work, so what’s new? how’s the situation with your daughter? 9:24 PM 

Nina: Nothing is new right now. They are finishing up the deck, and my daughter is still learning 9:38 PM 

Nina: Haven’t had any issues with her since earlier, but that’s only because I minimize convo with her…. 9:40 PM 

Nina: You know what’s weird… and not paranoid… but every time we talk… my ex’s family contacts me in text message… ? 9:57 PM 

Me: what are they saying? 10:01 PM 

Nina: They just say praying for you, thinking of you, etc 10:05 PM 

Me: you didn’t tell me much about them, only the “bad” things 10:06 PM 

Nina: I don’t know anything about them other then they hate black people, never acknowledged me, or his children 10:07 PM 

Me: yes, that’s what you told me 10:11 PM 

Me: so now they’re praying for you? 10:11 PM 

Nina: Well that’s all I know. So why do you think they are hitting me up? 10:11 PM 

Nina: Guilt? 10:11 PM 

Me: I don’t know, people do stuff for various reasons. Maybe they’ve come to realize that they had been wrong all the time but maybe it’s something completely different. 10:12 PM 

Nina: Something different like to see if I’m married with new kids ? 10:14 PM 

Nina: I have no obligation to him or his family… I’m not sure why they still do. And it’s random. Like today. Soon as you text me, she did ? 10:16 PM 

Me: Personally I would thank them for their prayers but tell them I don’t wish any further contact and that I want to move on with my life. 10:17 PM 

Me: Or you can ready what they text you but not answer but then it might go on and on and on 10:18 PM 

Nina: I don’t respond 10:18 PM 

Nina: And I sent them that text already… This is what I said months ago! 10:18 PM 

Nina: See the kids? You mean your nephews and niece”. Lol, that’s not an option. And until they are old enough to make the decisions to meet y’all. It won’t ever be an option. “The kids” have been on this earth for several years. I was married to your brother and y’all could have reached out to me about “the-kids” since a long time. No one did. Ever. So why now? 10:19 PM 

Nina: Y’all didn’t like me for the last 10 years let’s not pretend to now. 10:19 PM 

Nina: There are tons of hard feelings… but I manage them for his sake. Because even with you all living in the samee state my kids got to see y’all how many times? We are not gonna make these trips about visiting his plot about the children. 10:19 PM 

Nina: No more. No one reached out when my son had open heart surgery at 4 months. No one made sure the kids were taken care of… I 10:19 PM 

Nina: Y’all take care. 10:19 PM 

Me: Then I would just block the number for now, ideally you’d change your number at some point so that they have no way to contact you. 10:21 PM 

Nina: Yes, I will when school lets out… 10:22 PM 

Nina: I block their numbers they come with new ones ?. Sound familiar? 10:22 PM 

Me: You need to make peace with the past and move on with your life. Yes, it sounds familiar. I never got messages from all your friends, so you didn’t give them my number? 10:23 PM 

Nina: No, I wouldn’t do that. Ever 10:23 PM 

Nina: I’ve been moved on. I accepted our divorce and moved on. 10:24 PM 

Nina: I mean (backing up) what if I gave my friend your number and she steals you from me… lol. I would have to fight both of y’all. ?? 10:26 PM 

Me: Let me change the subject, do you seriously want a relationship with me? 10:28 PM 

Nina: Well honestly I am not sure how to answer that. I mean there are some grey areas I have to cypher through, learning more about each other, 10:30 PM 

Nina: like does he really work or is he with his wife from 4-12 ?. But, yes 10:30 PM 

Nina: I’m definitely willing to give it a try. 10:30 PM 

Me: lol, is he with his wife from 4 to 12, that’s cute 10:31 PM 

Nina: I’m thinking it could get work…. and if I’m definitely someone you would consider being with (because you say I’m paranoid, make assumptions, and have up and down behaviors) and having a baby with them it would be up to you to set schedule and start the surgery process… lmbo. Then I would know you are serious. 10:32 PM 

Me: how am I supposed to set schedule and start the surgery process? I don’t know anything about this, definitely not in this country. Is this a routine procedure? Do you have doctor whom you trust? 10:33 PM 

Nina: I’m not sure about marriage anytime soon. There is a lot of risk associated with it as far as the kids are concerned and their benefits they receive…. and If 10:34 PM 

Nina: you work and make really good money (like you say or claim) then it could potentially hurt them… I’m already hurting them enough 10:34 PM 

Nina: Hold on babe I’m making her lunch 10:35 PM 

Me: yeah, in this world it seems like it’s all about money. I never claimed I’m rich btw. but I do work and I’m not with my wife from 4 to 12, lmbo 10:35 PM 

Nina: For me it’s not about money. Definitely not l, but I also don’t wanna take anything or more then they are entitled to. As this helps their future. Although we 10:36 PM 

Nina: didn’t hope this would be the outcome… I’m covered with a lot of restrictions 10:37 PM 

Nina: But honestly, I only researched so much about it. So I don’t have a trust worthy doctor for the procedure, I do know it’s a same day surgery… in and out and small cuts.. the cost is about $3500 or less… my tubes are only tied and not cut and burned so it could work, it could not work 10:39 PM 

Nina: I’m sure you know at me being my age I have come along way as a person, a mom and a single parent. My living conditions should show you I’m not like most 10:52 PM 

Nina: (which is why I think you’re here or wanting to be) and I’m sure you know when I speak in anger about my children it’s just me venting-processing the situation. 10:52 PM 

Nina: I would never send my 13 year old away. I had her and gave her life. No one gets to step in and take what I created. Unless it’s against my will… 10:52 PM 

So she was just “venting” when she was talking about Foster care or even worse?

I was still talking to Nina despite all the red flags

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