Dating isn’t always easy. Most things are common sense yet when I talked to women it’s unbelievable and sometimes even funny what you hear.
I will probably share some of those stories at a later time, for now let’s go straight to the 10 essential dating tips:
- Be yourself!
So obvious yet the most common mistake that people make, pretending to be someone else. It will backfire, you can see it and hear it all over the internet and when you actually talk about experiences on dating site. Of course it might work temporarily (depending on how “good” you are).
- Look good!
This doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to hire a make-up artist and run to the barber shop (assuming you still have hair!). But guys, please, just check out some dating sites and see for yourself, some people just post pictures of themselves that makes you just think “WTF were they thinking”.
Ask a friend to take a nice portrait of you (don’t do the “stupid” selfies, often they do more harm than good) and a nice full body picture. Don’t use apps to make you look way better, reality will catch up with you (see #1).
Ever heard of Edmond Rostand‘s most noted drama Cyrano de Bergerac? *
Add a few pictures that show you doing what you love (hobbies) but by all means, no “show off pictures”.
- First contact – stick out!
No, this is not about Star Trek. Imagine that you are getting 20-30 messages on a dating site (women get a lot more than men) and they all look like this:
“Hey!” – “Hi” – “What’s up?” – “How are you?” – “You look hot!”
Write something original, most important, introduce yourself properly with your first name. Show, that you read their profile and say what you like about it. (We will talk about this later in a more specific topic)
- Be respectful!
Especially women get all the crap from men. Conversations shift into sexting and other disrespectful manners. People send inappropriate pictures or use foul language. Don’t do it! Be nice! Be respectful! Be polite!
- Be a good communicator!
Once you have an ongoing conversation many people don’t really know what do say. In the beginning I recommend to avoid political or religious topics. This is something for a personal conversation. Always be aware that text messages are “cold”, you type something that YOU think is funny, you type it with a big smile on your face but the other person who is reading it doesn’t see your smile. This can often lead to misunderstandings.
Ask “open” questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” because otherwise this is exactly what you get. “Tell me more about (your hobby)” is a better thing to say (or type) than “So you really like (your hobby)?”.
Most of all, show genuine interest, don’t fake it.
(No need to lie about loving Yoga or you might end up sitting in a Yoga class every other day only to impress your date and because you said you love Yoga while wishing you would be somewhere else)
- Be confident!
Ok, this might be a little tricky for many people, not everyone is “cool”, “confident” and “straight forward” but insecurity is a huge turn off for many individuals.
While it is ok to be a little shy (we will discuss this topic in a separate post, especially when it’s about going on an actual date), being totally insecure or even whiny is just bad for business.
If you ask all kinds of questions about yourself in order to hear something positive (aka “fishing for compliments) this also will lead to disaster soon.
Confidence is a gift, it’s actually something you can learn, believe it or not. Nobody is born confident.
- Don’t text forever!
Technology is a blessing in many way (think how it improves the quality of lives of human beings and how it makes things easier at home – and you probably wouldn’t be able to read this blog without it) but it also can be a curse!
(We will go into more details later!)
For now just remember: After a while it’s ok to ask for a phone number or simply share yours – and then actually TALK!
You also shouldn’t jump and yell “score” when you get someones phone number and then brag about it to your friends.
- Don’t rush things!
This should also be common sense, right from the beginning, don’t try to rush or force things. Don’t ask for the phone number after five minutes, don’t ask somebody out after ten minutes. Take your time, go with the flow.
- Be ready to meet!
Why would I include this in this list? It’s surprising how many people get “cold feet” when it’s actually time to finally meet. Think about it for a moment, I will share more in a separate post.
- Be yourself!
Wait a minute, this was #1 right? Yes, it starts with “Be yourself!” and it ends with “Be yourself!” when you finally meet. So many people tend to be different trying to impress the other person, brag about things they’ve never done, point out good characteristics that they don’t possess, again, it will backfire.
It’s ok to be a little nervous, but just be yourself! Good luck!
(* source: www.wikipedia.org)